I just recently returned from a cruise, my first one
Sailing the sea's…pirating
Fuck, I was in my element!!!
It was a very rough crossing for the first two days. Many people were seasick, even seasoned cruisers were overcome.
The ship was dipping as well as rolling
I was worried I might not have sea legs, I shouldn’t have.
I loved every minute of it, on the decks…no one around because of how rough it was.
I forget that’s in my blood sometimes, the pirate.
I also realised how anti social or a nicer term would be introverted, I really am.
After the rough seas subsided, everyone surfaced.
Cruising is very social and everyone wants to talk, which is fine, but sometimes…just no.
I’ll talk to anyone, anytime.
But at times I just wanted to merge into the vastness of the ocean and be alone.
Which I did.
I understand there are many lonely people out there and I think the loneliness was magnified by the full moon on the water, maybe?
I was zen as fuck and it showed, therefore people were comfortable telling me their story. Some sad, some funny and some tragic.
I realised they actually didn't need anything from me, just a chat.
I'm saying a word for all the lonely people, sometimes we need to hear.
Just listening, not talking.
Open to all the feels
Listening without Judgement
The highlight of the trip for me apart from being on the water and travelling with my Mumma was Kangaroo Island.
Karta: Island of the Dead - Kangaroo Island
Kangaroo Island separated from mainland Australia around 10,000 years ago, due to rising sea level after the last glacial period. Known as Karta ("Island of the Dead") by the mainland Aboriginal tribes, the existence of stone tools and shell middens show that Aboriginal people once lived on Kangaroo Island.
Ngurunderi was a creation being in the Dreaming of the tribes of the lower Murray River, lakes and Coorong of South Australia. These tribes believe that the spirit follows the path taken by Nguruderi to (Kangaroo Island ) after death, where they travel to the Waleruwar (the spirit world) in the Milky Way.
The minute I stepped on the Island, I felt at home with the spirits of the dead.
The animal medicine there was plentiful. Such a beautiful place to walk the land and sense the in-between. I didn’t want to leave.
I really believe that when you walk the land, something happens to you.
You carry a little piece of wherever you walk with you and it's available anytime when you remember and connect back.
We carry it in our bones, the wayfarer.
I also wanted to say that after travelling you usually come home to well things that make you go hmmmmm, that may have escaped your attention prior because your focus is on the possibility’s and excitement of the unknown adventure ahead.
Those of you that are on Fuck book, whoops I mean Facebook, may have seen my video about unethical practices in this place we call “spiritual ”
Or as I prefer to call it the occult.
I pretty much said all I need to in that Vid.
However, I didn’t name the person who helped me and he deserves a big, fucking HUGE mention.
His name is Tony Esta, and he walks in the underworld.
I see him as the black panther walking in the in-between. Protecting and clearing your person and space.
He clears houses and talk's to the dead.
He can see things, like attachment's and all kinds of freaky shit that most people are afraid of.
He is humble and honest and basically about the only person I would trust to look in on me energetically.
A traveller of the underworld and at home there.
Tony looked in for me and needless to say, the minute I knew he was on the job, I felt at peace.
I knew the Panther was would take care of whatever fuckery was hanging around and he did.
He didn’t know what was going on, I just asked him to take a look.
He named it, he knew where it came from and even described the person that was wishing me ill (either consciously or unconsciously).
Let’s just say that motherfucking energy won’t be back as he has put up major protection around me and mine.
I'm very grateful for the work he does and even more grateful his my mate.
If you need the big guns, give Tony a call.
Below I’ve included a link to get in contact if needed.
I got something to say: it's all about perspective. It's a funny thing isn't it? How we perceive things, people and situations. Perception is really in the eye of the beholder isn't it?
How we can all look at one thing and perceive it differently.
What I find beautiful, others may find confronting.And that's ok.
It's only when people project on how they think you should be, it can be messy.
And even messier, when you think you should be something.
Then smash yourself up when your not.
What perception are you under when you tear yourself apart?
I’m asking a lot of questions because I’m feeling the confusion of the collective. People are so sad, I see it in their eyes, their hearts.
Sometimes I just wish people could see how fucking beautiful they are. Amazing, awesome and shining motherfuckers.
We all are, don’t believe the lie that you are not enough.
Perfection is a illusion
Here's what i know on my journey...and trust me I know nothing
Some of my most profound moments are not or have had anything to do with the spiritual world. For example:
Everyday shit, that’s where the gold is
If your on your own spiritual journey, don’t think it’s all rainbow and lollipops.
Some of it might be, but a lot of time it’s just a case of wading through the bullshit and fake news.
Again it all looks perfect, but it's not. It's a fucked place of repression.
How you should be, how you should act.
Fuck their rules
Fuck all those perfect people
I used to think that I wasn’t enough to be in the spiritual world.
I didn’t practise what others did, I compared myself and thought, fuck I’m a shit love and lighter.
I didn’t belong there and they freaked me out. I freaked them out too hahaha
Denial was rampant on both sides, but in hindsight it was actually the biggest learning and teaching for me.
I decided many moons ago, that if I couldn’t be true to myself…how could I be true to anyone.
I like stuff that most people find confronting:
I find beauty and sanctuary in the most unusual places
But I am filled with light
I just go about it differently
I'm not perfect and wouldn't wanna be. I'm rough as guts
I’m at home on the streets, in the dirt, hanging with outcasts, The dodgy fuckers.
The 1 percent of society
They are my people
So before you compare yourself to others, Think about how unique you are and your own badass mojo. Turn your freak on.
We are all freaky ...some just don't deny it.
I've been fanging, these 2 songs...Bloody brilliant . If you have the time to listen...
I was lucky enough to go see Conversations with Nick Cave at The Melbourne Town Hall, last night with some cherished friends. Fuck me, it was epic.
As we sat there, waiting for the man to come on stage, the lights dimmed and his melodic voice spoke "Steve McQueen " that featured in "One more time with feeling".
I cried, silent tears running down my cheeks as Julia touched my knee, in acknowledgement of the powerful spell of words that touch your soul.
I know we weren't the only ones that felt it......in the blood, guts and motherfucking bones.
Ya' all know I'm a huge fan of his music, have been for decades. Now they say you should never meet your hero's, because they are likely to disappoint. Fair point. No one is perfect. Expectations fall short....
Last night was so far from that, Humble, Realistic and Honest.
Truthful, insightful and straight out legendary.
The prophet. The mystical motherfucker Nick Cave
I was acutely aware that at the Melbourne Town hall last night, there was a mass healing taking place on so many levels. It was everywhere, in the questions asked and the responses given.People stated it. Humble as ever, it was returned.
It was like a flow of reciprocated awesomeness and connection. No bullshit.
When he played his piano and sung , it continued.
Clarity and confirmation on a existential level.
It wasn't supposed to be a spiritual experience, but tell that to the people there.
Or Maybe it's just me? Every-time I see Nick Cave and the BadSeeds, it's a spiritual experience for me personally. I come away healed through the words and music.
Forever a fan of the spell, o deeply woven.
"Because someone’s gotta sing the stars
And someone’s gotta sing the rain
And someone’s gotta sing the blood
And someone’s gotta sing the pain"
Steve McQueen ~ Nick Cave
Well, well, well 2019 already!
The build up was enormous! Christmas and then the wait for the new year. That weird in-between time.Nothing seems to happening and your stuck in state of.... hmmm it feels like "nothingness" and anticipation.
Normally a good time to reflect on the year to come. This year felt different however, it was almost like the future was saying: Hey, you'll be alright, don't sweat it.
It can be a hard thing to do, trust. You're being asked to trust in something that hasn't happened yet.
On a collective level I get it..the future is unworkable, things change. Our actions can determine the outcome.
Which brings me to reading tarot as I've had a few requests for Tarot readings.
You can only see what the cards are telling you. The ultimate decision comes back to the person, always. It's called free will.
Reading tarot can be tricky. I'm talking about what you see vs your own ego.
It can be so easy to believe your own bullshit and project onto others.
I've had it done to me by readers.
A lot of the time, it does come from the heart and a genuine need or desire to help/assist someone who is in pain or needs answers.
I've also argued with readers,who have adamantly told me future predictions and basically when I questioned the outcome ,became wounded and insulted.
The need to prove a point in a reading is just childish.
But that's where it gets sticky. A reader should be motherfucking Switzerland.
We are taught/ trained through books, gurus and workshops that we are little mini oracles, here to save the world and the humans. Seriously!
I'm pretty much self taught, but have read a few books. Have seen the outlines for some workshops and it leaves me questioning.
I don't know everything when it comes to tarot...far from it. There is so much to know and feel around Tarot it's endless, like the cosmos.
To me there is nothing worse, than someone telling me: You need to do this or that.
My inner rebel comes out to play,I don't like being told what to do.
I'll listen to the advice then make my own mind up, for better or worse.
Man, I argue with my spirit guides in my dreams when they are trying to tell me what to do..so yeah good luck with that one.
I try to catch myself with the terminology to rule it out completely, I've caught myself saying these words too. Arggg and it always feels horrible and insulting.To me and the person receiving.
Some people like being told what to do and how to do it. Freewill is not a option, they want you to tell them.And I think that's where it gets blurry.
It's is a service, it's advice.It's not a platform to spruke your own beliefs on how someone should do life. It's not about being superior and think you know everything.
I think everyone deserves to undertake their own freewill and sovereignty.
It's how we learn and grow, from mistakes.
I really think it's the terminology and mindset that needs to change: the "you need to " advice need's to fuck off.
Remember where the Tarot come's from : It's the Occult, meaning hidden. It's the arcane, meaning mysterious and understood by few.
That's how I see it. The future isn't written, it's and under the mysteries of no law/rules and time.
We can predict, but it can change. We can advise, but freewill comes in. You can only read what's in front of you at the time of reading.
The only certainty of this life, is we are all gonna die one day.
As the end fastly approaches (of the year I mean)
Lot’s of changes and endings for many, the cosmos has provided some stellar moments and some downright fuckery.
It’s been a mixed year for me.
Chiron return ..Tick done
Traveled …hell yeah
Went to the depths and went to the motherfucking cosmos
Like I said mixed!
How’s your year been? Betcha there is gold in there mixed with some shitful moments? Hmmm
The most important key I got from this year, just recently occurred.
Those of you who read my blog, know my feelings and apathy towards the New age and spiritual bastardry I feel on a cellular level.
I know it, I feel it and could never explain it deeply enough as to why it affected me so much. This has been going on for years.
The concepts of corporate spirituality left me cold and angry
I wanted nothing to do with it, it made me retreat and embarrassed to even call myself spiritual.
I withdrew, because I couldn’t play there, it insulted my soul daily.
I know that sounds extreme. But it’s how I felt and it made me miserable.
Then I would back track and think I’m too harsh and too judgey
Surely it’s great that spirituality is available for the masses, isn’t it?
Well yes and no , because it’s become a land of entitled, over bearing fucking experts, entrepreneur’s, marketing gurus, mentors and corporate upselling of brands.
The terminology and brainwashing tactics that are used under the umbrella term “spirituality”
This is a ongoing conversation between me and my tribe of people l I trust. We all feel the same way.
We finally named it for what it is and I can’t tell you enough the relief we feel.
We've given it a name that we understand, to all of the above frustrations.
Thankyou Julia xxx
I now know what I’m dealing with. Before I named it, it was a whole ideology, too vast to nail down. With one singular name I understand and it has no power anymore.
I need to fully feel and understand the depths of a idealogy to let it go, but let me tell you this one was a slippery sucker.
It’s so masked with latent bullshit, there’s a mine field to navigate to get to the truth and agenda behind it.
This might sound like sour grapes to some. Don’t care, if they spread their agenda, thinly masked as spirituality. I think I can speak my truth which is my agenda.
I’m not here to be a star of the corporate world and look good on social media
I just want people to know what and who I am, no pretense
No glam shots, No fluffy terminology, A sweary bitch with intent to do some fab healings for people that want it.
My force is strong with animal medicine, and I’ve been known to do a rippa tarot reading or two.
I make witches mirrors and work with wings, bones and skins
I’ve just recently asked for some new testimonials…Which was hard, but I reckon other people can explain or give a true account of how they feel, way better than me. The last time I updated it was 2014….that’s how much it did my head in!
I’ve updated the website and I can finally say that it’s the first time I’ve ever felt proud of my website. I feel it’s finally a accurate reflection
Because I bought the lie too, and left stuff there that I thought you had to have.
I’m under no illusion that the web and social media are the way people find you to see what you offer, I get it. So have given in to use my webpage as that platform.
Mostly for me it’s still word of mouth, thank the gods. However, if I have to play online, the website needs to be clear and honest for me to truly embrace it.
There is a fine line between self promotion and agenda, If I slip you all have permission to smack me in the fucking head.
Phew that was biggie!
I just wanna say to those that feel the same way, have faith in yourself, find your tribe( if you need it) and be so honest with your practice that its blinding. Name what shits you with the world and feel free, you are under no obligation to swallow shit in whatever form it comes.
All we can do is be true to ourselves, and when you’re not that’s when you feel it..the sadness and melancholy.
There are no rules with spirituality, no one has the right to tell you how to be. You are you.
If you’re a freak, fly the flag.
I just want to thank my tribe of weird ass bitches and I am truly grateful for all the insights we share to unfuck ourselves from the bullshit world we find ourselves in.
You motherfuckers of badassery know who you are xxx
I hope everyone has a splendid and safe end of the year celebrations, whatever your practice.
That's me signing off till next year,
Hi all, I need to apologise as I when I set up the newsletter, all the subscribers merged into one list! I think I've fixed it?And created seperate lists.
One for the blog and one for the underground newsletter. I hope so because, I don't want to send you emails if you are not interested!
This is a general email, sent to everyone and if I have put you on the newsletter list ( which I haven't sent out yet ) and you are not interested, please unsubscribe and accept my apologies.
I'll be sending out the newsletter in a couple of days. Or if you are interested and want to receive the newsletter, you can register on the newsletter page. As now they are seperate lists! You should get a confirmation (fixed that up too)!!
Thank you to the people that have signed up to receive the newsletter , I have fixed all the glitches( I think?) and updated everything.
If you have tried to get in touch, I don't know why but it went to my old email address, So I was wasn't getting notified. Again Apologies, as I wasn't ignoring you !!!
Bloody Hell...Technology \!@#%
Apart from that, hope everyone is navigating these strange and intense time's like a rockstar!!
It's pretty hectic, energetically at the moment. There's a lot of releasing going on. The planetary action....well fuck me sideways :) Don't know what the solar flares are up to? but I've had a bloody headache for 3 days.
Lethargic and a general case of the can't be fucked's.
But maybe that's just me haha
If your feeling it , I got no words of wisdom
Just riding the waves, as they come....
Trust your wild hearts, they can't be broken ~ Inspired by Pink :)
Just a heads up :Check ya spam boxes if you've signed up for the newsletter, ( in a few days, I'll be sending it out) The test emails have gone straight to spam.....Bloody thing!
Hope everyone is travelling well
I’ve returned from my wayfaring ways, 7 weeks in the northern hemisphere
I don’t even know where to start ? Haha
So much happened and my spirit was in nirvana.
I don’t want to bang on about it, but fuck it was intense.
So many teachings, so many synchronicity’s and messages came thick and fast.
The dreams were extraordinary.
I was so open and relaxed that my brain forgot to decipher, and that’s a good thing.
In the moment totally with all that came my way.
It sort of showed me, how much I’m in my head when I do life on a day to day basis.
Ya know ….Life I think we all get stuck in it, don’t we? It’s a hard one to come out of, I’ve tried by practicing, but I totally suck at it.
I can’t be fucked half the time and figure I’m not trying to be a enlightened master…so we do our best with what we’ve got.
I think when you travel, something in the soul free’s up , because you’re doing something you love. I guess we are all like that.
That’s the key, doing what you love and being honest with yourself I reckon.
I’m still remembering the different things that happened and the big medicine and healing I received from being in the land of my ancestor’s.
It was definitely a pilgrimage of sorts.
I got to see places I’ve only dreamt about.
I’ve tried to write a couple of times about the magic for the blog, but yeah it’s not coming.
I think it’s for me to process and then put into practice.
I’m excited to open the healing space again, just to see what comes through.
I’ll still be doing them distance, for me it’s the best way to work.
I can go straight in and meet you in the shadows, in the deepest part, that we don't show. My favorite !!
If I could build a cave and trust me, seriously thinking about it on the land, I would have sessions in there.
One thing that definitely ingrained throughout the trip (even though I already knew), was my love for the underground. I feel so at home and the remembering is powerful.
In the dark, with limited light, my senses tune in and what comes in, is all the feels.
I can see, hear and feel.
I love working with people, but feel I can be better of service when I can just meet you there in the ethers and do what needs to be done.
I can get distracted by all the feels when doing them in person, and no offence, I don’t want to know anything about your life or situation previously to healing.
It’s of no concern to me, and it doesn’t matter. Whatever you need in the healing will happen, that’s all I know.
Same goes for reading the Tarot and animal messages. By taking away the human element/expectations, your spirit is free to rock the fuck on and receive.
Just a quickie :)
I’m about to take off for 7 weeks to the UK, Scotland and Wales.
Then over to Switzerland, Paris, Germany, Brussels, Amsterdam,Italy (maybe) and Morocco
My eldest daughter is having a handfasting ( getting married) in Switzerland
For me this a trip of a lifetime, one I thought would never happen
So won’t be available for healings from next week until end of September.
Rock on and will have tales to tell no doubt, of the familial and ancestral lands when I return.
“You know I look like a woman, but I cut like a buffalo “
Lyrics : Jack White
Performed by: The Dead Weather ( Vid Below)
Best line ever!
Have been chilling and listening to heaps of music, who needs a therapist?
Music saves my sanity, well mostly haha
'Cause it’s always good to be a bit loose
Is she off her head? Yeah probably.
The lunacy, the irritated and the slightly insane.
The dark moon at the moment allows space for introspection
I can look easily and chose to let it go or hold on to it.
Surprisingly its getting easier and easier to let it go
I’m talking about perceptions and opinions that at the end of the day mean nothing.
From others and self
Just a mind fuck of conditioning of how we should be.
So my question is, who determines how we should be? Is it self or the masses?
It’s a interesting question isn’t it?
Who do we have to prove it too? Ourselves/ society or both?
What if we don’t have to prove anything and just be?
Chilling and being your own magic, not proving anything to anyone?
We all have much to offer the world, some more than others.
Yet we judge ourselves and others harshly if it doesn’t fit into our own perceptions.
Hey I put my own hand up for doing that shit..A lot!!!
But I must be maturing. Who knew??!!
However, on the other hand when you do stand up and declare yourself
It can be taken the wrong way
So my thoughts, are you fucked either way?
I think you just need to be comfortable with it
I got no problem with being taken the wrong way, it happens a lot.
As I said in previous blog, it’s not peoples job to understand me.
Just as its not mine to understand them.
We can’t help what others perceive about us
It’s usually wrong anyway, our perceptions are based on what we feel, usually about ourselves and how we would react in situations.
We all react differently
In the spiritual world, I often feel misunderstood, again people’s perceptions of how one should act.
How does one act? That’s what I’d like to know?
But at the same time I don’t really care. I’ve been doing this a long time and know what I know, I also know what I don’t.
Being so completely honest with yourself that it hurts, owning it all, always works for me.
Is it pretty? Fuck no, it’s not meant to be.
That we are human, and make mistakes
That’s where the gold is, the mistakes and seeing them
That’s where the light is
That’s where the answers are
That’s where we face the shadow of doubt
It’s also how we heal and grow
In the shadow of the dark moon acknowledge it all and let it be
Truth: the seekers quest.
Some find it in connection to religion/spirit. The divine. I guess it’s all about perception and what you believe to be the truth and all our truths are different.
I haven’t found it spirituality at all. At the core, I understand it but I will never follow blindly, the concepts of religion or spirituality.
Which leads into the existential crisis syndrome. Why are we here? What Have we come to achieve? What’s our journey? Why?
I’ll always be searching, I know this. Some have said to me, When I find God, I’ll find peace. I’ve had that said to me on numerous occasions. May be that’s the search? To find the God within? Who knows?
I know very early on in my quest, I had a dream where I was sitting in a pub and a very non –descript man sat next to me. He looked me straight in the eye and told me I have everything I need within. I didn’t need to search without.
That dream, has stayed with me. I call it my God dream. Did I stop searching? Hell no. But what I did do was trust myself more.
I stopped buying the guru books and going to workshops to improve myself “spiritually”.
I’m not saying I know everything, because fuck me, I don’t. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with workshops either.
But for me, at that point in my life I was voracious and would go and learn anything I could. I would often walk away, feeling “undone”. I would go with a open heart and want to learn, only to walk away and be disappointed because I felt didn’t learn anything new. But like always, I did learn, it may not have been evident at the time.
Just not in the way I expected. I learnt how to be accepted, I learnt the “rules”, I learnt the new age way.
The biggest teaching for me was: I actually learnt how not to be.
Fast forward: So my journey continues with feeling like a fish out of the ocean or like alien stranded on a distant planet.
Why? Because I’ve been waiting for understanding. It’s not anyone’s’ job to understand me, I finally get it.
Just like it’s not my job to understand them. It is what it is.
(I have done previous posts on my journey through religion and the new age for my thoughts on it if you’re interested, check it out)
I thought I needed acceptance from peers but, more than anything I wanted to be understood.
That’s a huge mantle to carry, fucking depressing actually. We are all weird as fuck when you get down to the bones of it.
When people asked me what I do in healings, I could never explain it on paper or in words and it killed me. I needed/wanted people to understand and feel comfortable with it. And I never could.
So when I finally fitted the last piece of the puzzle, The weight lifted off me.
I have been doing distance healings, and it has been fantastic.
They are as freaky as fuck, just the way I like it. I’m in the in-between with no distractions. I can journey into your energy and clear shit. I still can’t explain it and I’m not going to. It’s just what I do and who I am.
That's my Truth.
Got a motherfucker in your energy? I’ll rip them out by their throat, then bless them.
Need a balance? I’ll Zen as fuck you
Haha That’s’ the best explanation I’ve ever come up with !!!
So yeah, If ya want a healing I’m only doing distance by appointment.
Nick Cave & Grinderman say it best with their lyrics to Get it on
"I had to get up to get down to start all over again
Head on down to the basement and shout
Kick those white mice and black dogs out
Kick those white mice and baboons out
Kick those baboons and other motherfuckers out
And get it on ,get it on, get it on
On the day that you got born"