Truth: the seekers quest.
Some find it in connection to religion/spirit. The divine. I guess it’s all about perception and what you believe to be the truth and all our truths are different.
I haven’t found it spirituality at all. At the core, I understand it but I will never follow blindly, the concepts of religion or spirituality.
Which leads into the existential crisis syndrome. Why are we here? What Have we come to achieve? What’s our journey? Why?
I’ll always be searching, I know this. Some have said to me, When I find God, I’ll find peace. I’ve had that said to me on numerous occasions. May be that’s the search? To find the God within? Who knows?
I know very early on in my quest, I had a dream where I was sitting in a pub and a very non –descript man sat next to me. He looked me straight in the eye and told me I have everything I need within. I didn’t need to search without.
That dream, has stayed with me. I call it my God dream. Did I stop searching? Hell no. But what I did do was trust myself more.
I stopped buying the guru books and going to workshops to improve myself “spiritually”.
I’m not saying I know everything, because fuck me, I don’t. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with workshops either.
But for me, at that point in my life I was voracious and would go and learn anything I could. I would often walk away, feeling “undone”. I would go with a open heart and want to learn, only to walk away and be disappointed because I felt didn’t learn anything new. But like always, I did learn, it may not have been evident at the time.
Just not in the way I expected. I learnt how to be accepted, I learnt the “rules”, I learnt the new age way.
The biggest teaching for me was: I actually learnt how not to be.
Fast forward: So my journey continues with feeling like a fish out of the ocean or like alien stranded on a distant planet.
Why? Because I’ve been waiting for understanding. It’s not anyone’s’ job to understand me, I finally get it.
Just like it’s not my job to understand them. It is what it is.
(I have done previous posts on my journey through religion and the new age for my thoughts on it if you’re interested, check it out)
I thought I needed acceptance from peers but, more than anything I wanted to be understood.
That’s a huge mantle to carry, fucking depressing actually. We are all weird as fuck when you get down to the bones of it.
When people asked me what I do in healings, I could never explain it on paper or in words and it killed me. I needed/wanted people to understand and feel comfortable with it. And I never could.
So when I finally fitted the last piece of the puzzle, The weight lifted off me.
I have been doing distance healings, and it has been fantastic.
They are as freaky as fuck, just the way I like it. I’m in the in-between with no distractions. I can journey into your energy and clear shit. I still can’t explain it and I’m not going to. It’s just what I do and who I am.
That's my Truth.
Got a motherfucker in your energy? I’ll rip them out by their throat, then bless them.
Need a balance? I’ll Zen as fuck you
Haha That’s’ the best explanation I’ve ever come up with !!!
So yeah, If ya want a healing I’m only doing distance by appointment.
Nick Cave & Grinderman say it best with their lyrics to Get it on
"I had to get up to get down to start all over again
Head on down to the basement and shout
Kick those white mice and black dogs out
Kick those white mice and baboons out
Kick those baboons and other motherfuckers out
And get it on ,get it on, get it on
On the day that you got born"