Just Breathe

The room was quiet when she finally slipped into bed .Her husband softly
snoring was the only noise that invaded the peace.


Thoughts raced through her head. She wondered, when had she become so
complacent with death? Another one had passed, she felt nothing.  It had been a
long night; she felt for the family, she always did.


She had believed it was a certain privilege to be around when a soul crossed
from this life to  the next, but lately she felt nothing.


Was she becoming so hard, that it didn’t matter anymore? Was it because that
there was so much death around her, that she coped by indifference?  Breathe she
told herself, Just breathe.   Really, what  was  wrong with her?  Jaded and
faded, she knew summed  her up perfectly. That was her last thought as sleep
overwhelmed her.


Shit,why is the lamp on, she thought as she woke suddenly?  Why could she see
the bed and her husband lying beside her? Her bed room was laid out before her
eyes, the dressing table, the side table, even the door. She could see her body
curled on its side and her husbands back, well that’s bizarre she mused.


I’m floating she thought and then abruptly she was jolted back into her
body.


She was suddenly aware of an invisible presence near her. She was having
trouble breathing, she felt like she was choking. Thoughts were racing around in
her head. Just breathe her logical mind told her…Then she saw him.


Am I dreaming? Was her first thought as he made himself more noticeable to
her. He was enormous; his head touched the top of ceiling, which was 11 foot
high. He was dressed in a gray/black robe  that reached all the way to the
floor. The tendrils of fabric seemed to reach up and touch her where she laid;
she could not see his face.It was an endless void partly covered by a hood; he
was holding a tremendous staff of withered wood and was observing her
quietly.


The silent power coming from him was immeasurable; she stared intently into
the void and all she felt was a supremacy that was infinite, in that second she
felt like a tiny speck of dust floating in the universe. He didn’t move or
speak, he just watched her silently.


Ironically enough she wasn’t scared, as he was a vision to behold.  She felt
the awesomeness of his power and nothing mattered. He was absolute.


The thoughts were many, but the one constant that her mind screamed was “wake
up”.


Captivated by this spectre, she continued to look at him, amazed by the pure
authority he had over her.  She didn’t want to wake up, she wanted to know more,
and he could tell her.


The pressure around her throat tightened, it was as if his robes were coming
up and snaking slowly around her neckline.


The voice was unrelenting telling her to open her eyes and breathe.


She continued defiantly, trying to get a word, a gesture, something! She felt
herself go limp. She couldn’t hang on any longer. She wasn’t breathing. The void
became her reality. She had slipped into it quite easily she thought, she
imagined this is what it felt like to be a baby floating around in utero. Ahh
Bliss was her last thought.


She bolted upright gasping for breath, no light was on. Her husband was still
snoring softly .


She reached over and put the lamp on. Half expecting him to be where she last
saw him, No one was there.


Shivers coursed through her body. What the hell had just happened? A dream?



No! it couldn’t have been, it was so real! She was used to strange
happenings, but never like this.   She felt peculiar, her whole body was
tingling. Calm down she told herself, just breathe.


As her breathing slowed, she felt a peace come over her.


She felt blessed and humbled, by an absolute power that she couldn’t fathom.



She had met death and was in awe, she would never forget him as long as she
lived, and live she intended to, with no regrets. 


He became a constant reminder in her soul, He would wait for her until it was
time, when her spirit is ready to soar over the rainbow bridge, He will journey
with her and take her home.


There is as much power in death as there is life, he showed her this.


Never again would she be complacent. Ever.

 ©Rebecca Walker  2011

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