What do you do to make yourself feel better? What lies do you tell yourself to make yourself feel better? It's an interesting question and can be hard to answer. Everybody talks about shadow work. But what is shadow work? It's the deep nitty gritty parts of yourself that you don't want to acknowledge. We hide it well, so others don’t notice either. There can be a sense of shame, guilt and unworthiness. In the depth of deep of shadow work, you can't lie. If you lie, even to yourself to make it feel lighter or less deeper it’s not shadow work. It’s denial. Shadow and light work, is about balance and navigating the levels. Shadow work isn't pretty, it's a dedicated approach. It’s like you can see a wound festering and you have choices in your approach :
What does it look like ? What does it feel like? Is it scary? Are you appalled by it? Are you shocked at the level of deepness? We all lie to ourselves on many different levels every day, a lot of the time it's for self worth, self-preservation it could be even for self promotion. When you go into shadow work there is nowhere to hide and you need to acknowledge that you may be a asshole, you may need to acknowledge that there are aspects of your personality /shadow which may infuriate others or even yourself. You can notice patterns of behaviour that will continue until you've looked at the wound. It’s your choice…we always have freewill. How do you feel when you see what it is? How do you cope with trauma that may be causing behaviours? How do you acknowledge the good ,the bad and the ugly? I can't speak for anybody else, but I do know personally that you need to give yourself a break when you're doing shadow work. If it’s hard and deep, chip away and step away for a bit. When you acknowledge the behaviour or the shadow and really truly, deeply understand it can be Freeing and cleansing. Remember the pattern. It's about being brutally honest with yourself and acknowledging what you need to for your soul to move forward. The little lies that we tell ourselves are normally an indicator that we have a bit of shadow work to finish or complete. It's acknowledging your behavioural or triggers and the why's of how we behave the way we do. It can be as simple as wanting to feel important in a group of people and you will tell lies to make yourself seem more important or deny your voice to fit in. We've all done it! It's a part of being social and wanting to fit in. Our shadows can be huge in that area, often dictated by social media. The need to be accepted. How about we change their fucking rules, accept ourselves and not what is expected? It can be a little lie ,that things aren't as bad as they seem, yet you're living with some *fucked up shit going down. These are the lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. *(Disclaimer: Always seek professional help if needed) Once you’ve worked with your shadow and blessed that little motherfucker, that’s when the light comes in. Thats when you can breathe and give yourself a break. Understanding the patterns of what you've been through, what was learnt by society vs what you need to love yourself. No bullshit outside influence. Some people only remain in the light and it's a false sense of security, it’s unacknowledged trauma that will probably stay with them till they die. Are they ready to face it? Maybe ? Maybe not? Whilst some people will continually live in the shadows and are constantly rebirthing and acknowledging their behaviours. The shadow is deep but that's where the gold is, She keeps no secrets. In a selfish ,entitled society, a fast paced instant gratification time it sounds weird that nurturing yourself by doing shadow work is probably the best thing you could ever do. It unfucks you, it can help you see different perspectives, It can heal the way you see yourself and others. It can help you become unfuckablewith. Because you know the deepest darkest parts of yourself and you are open and honest. Opinions of others seem to matter less and less. You carry the spark of understanding of the part that’s healed, thereby maybe helping others to reach that point. (or not) as it’s usually a solitary journey. Talking to people you trust can cement the work, if you can’t talk to someone. Journaling your shadow journey is also a good way to see how far you have come. That delicate balance we are ever trying to achieve. Like tight rope walkers we balance our shadow and light in our hands, heart and mind. Too much either way, and you’ve lost your balance completely. The silence is deafening and welcomed as you hear your heartbeat. Welcome to shadow work. Rock on Bec x
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