Hola ! How is everyone travelling?
It’s getting to the pointy end of the year : Christmas just around the corner, people brains are flicking the switch to go into holiday mode.It’s heating up and we are thinking about lazy days of doing whatever we want.
It' s sorta become a ritual of mine, to think back on the year that was, around this time.
Half the time I’m gob smacked the wheel has turned towards the sun again. It only feels like yesterday that we celebrated the new year.
Reflecting on themes throughout the year and what I’ve learnt :what I sucked at, what worked , what didn’t and what I can put in my medicine bag for future reference.
Trust me , I am constantly learning through my shadow and light and notice ( when I pay attention) to what’s being taught.
Lately it’s been about humility or being humble
There is a fine line in being a complete asshole or being humble to a fault. I spin somewhere between the two , asshole one day, humble the next .
Situations have arisen, where my humility is tested…do I eat the humble pie and quietly say to myself......hmm
I don’t tell people half the shit I can do or my achievement’s because I’m a humble motherfucker ( see that , bravo ego fuckingbravo )
I guess it’s all about perception, if you are confident in your abilities ,you usually don’t feel the need to tell anyone that will listen. However, its truly a fine line in dumbing yourself down to make people feel comfortable. Hands up , how many times have you done that ? That shit has got to stop.
So yeah trying to work out the middle line
Asshole vs too Humble
Sometimes ya just gotta own how innately powerful you are, acknowledge your achievements and remind people of who they are fucking with, without being a dick....
Always be the queen , that you are
Video of PJ Harvey in her full powerful mojo <3
Been ages since my last blog
I have a million things to say and yet at the same time…nothing
Been moonlighting on the wharf or docks as a stevedore/ wharfie
and I gotta say , loving it !
I can swear to my heart’s content and not offend anyone, always a good thing haha
I am down by the water and see eagles every morning when I’m going to work and on the way home.
There is a Peregrine Falcon who nests down there and I see him every day. The port has nesting boxes there to preserve the bird wildlife
Surrounded by nature and paying homage to the ancestors
My family have always been been waterside workers, from Great grandfathers, great uncles to my own father,husband .brothers,son and my 3 daughters.
Yep ,that salty air does a thing or two to the blood that runs through our veins.
I’ve hardly been on social media, just because and to be honest I don’t miss it.
Just being and listening to awesome tunes
Staring at the sky and water
Holding my arms out and whispering blessings on the wind
Seeing the magic everywhere
Silence & Beauty
Getting ready and preparing for the Keeners next Saturday with two amazing women
Julia Ingliss from www.sacredfamiliar.com/ &
www.facebook.com/13MoonsBloodMysteries/ wouldn't and couldn't do it with anyone else…like ever
I can’t explain the connection we have to this work and each other, we are all in service to the dark mothers and the women that come to heal.
It’s like nothing I have ever experienced before, total love, trust and synchronicity.
I adore these two and the deep connection is profound.
There are a couple of places left if anyone is interested, you can visit Julia's website for more info :)
The keening reminds me of this poem by Lord Byron
She Walks In Beauty
She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
GEORGE GORDON BYRON
In June, 1814, Lord Byron attended a party at Lady Sitwell's. While at the party, Lord Byron was inspired by the sight of his cousin, the beautiful Mrs. Wilmot, who was wearing a black spangled mourning dress.This became the essence of his poem about her.
The poem was published in 1815.
This is how I see the women that come to the keening, walking in beauty <3
I have a confession to make:
You see I bought the lie. I immersed myself into the biggest lie there is…
It's very subtle until you see it. Bombardment on every level: physically, emotionally & spiritually.
It’s always felt wrong, like the rebel deep inside me ..saying resist, but the motherfuckers wore me down.
I bought into the mass mindfuck. At some point I stopped trying to resist and went knowingly and defeated into the pit. I lost my own intent and freewill.
I behaved to be accepted, to be liked and to be considered normal. (actually mortified)
I followed the rabbit hole with many to end up in never never land. A land of never never being real or never never showing the truth.
A land of false prophets and master slavers who numb your pain by feeding you saccharine laced bullshit.
Well fuck never never land….I’m out
My heart can no longer abide it.
I want to wander and be free, no rules to live by except: Don’t be a asshole
To see and experience the real beauty of the world and not be influenced by anyone or anything
To do the truth an honor by always telling it, even if it’s hard and messy
To revel in my rebellious nature and above all trust it
No more lies, no more adjustment to fit in, no more sugar coating
I’ve been slowly detangling myself for the past few years and I think I’ve finally unfucked myself.
There is an army of like-minded people out there. I call them my family and friends
Those that live in the shadows to shine the light and truth.
Those ratbags look the world firmly in the face and say a big fuck you to the mass mind controllers and benders of truth.
Those that rail against hypocrisy and injustice, always raging against the machine.
That’s my people. That’s me.
Time to celebrate <3
Rebel, Rebel ... I love her so
Dreaming. We all do it, apparently! Some dreams stick with you though. I can’t shake this dream I had recently. In a good way.
They say it’s our own voice speaking to us, when we are at our most receptive. Where the conscious and unconscious voices meet. In the in-between.
Some have prophetic dreams; others work shit out in the dream world or a mixture of both.
Sometimes you just don’t get a dream, no matter how hard you try.
Searching the internet and dream books for answers, even then it can elude you.
Other times the answers are so clear, like the universe just smacked you upside the head.
Leaves you smiling and an inner knowing like ....Yeah, I got this shit!
There are amazing people out there that interpret dreams and can offer such a great insight when navigating the sometimes murky waters of our dreaming.
I think when it comes to dreams and we try to decipher them, we forget to trust ourselves and inner knowing.
Trust yourself and the feeling. Writing it down can help to revisit later.
I wanted to share my dream.
I was on the phone to Nick Caves dad(Whom I know died when Nick was quite young around 19).
I was taking him lamb; that my husband had boned out for him. For the life of me I had to get this food to him. Like a mission.
My husband was with me and we travelled to a farm to give him the food.
I remember them (Hubby and Nick’s Dad) walking out the back and I stayed in the house.
There were cat's and kitten's on the lounge floor, so of course I’m on the floor playing with them.
Next thing I can feel water being sprinkled over the back of my neck, I knew it was Nick Cave and I was totally overwhelmed /shy and wouldn’t turn around to look at him.
(I love Nick Cave …always have. It’s not an Oh my god, I want to date him thing. It’s an OMFG this person is so amazing lyrically, he sings to our/my soul. Total fucking respect)
NOTE : I never dream about famous people…ever
Anyway, so I’m ignoring Nick Fucking Cave… here comes the water again, on my neck and back, sprinkles ahh how lovely it felt.
I realise I have to stand up and turn around and face him. He helps me up. Hey, I’m still overwhelmed and haven’t really looked into his face.
Next minute we are in the bathroom and he is standing behind me, I can see him clearly in the mirror. He spoke some things and then we hugged like long lost mates.
I woke up.
You could interpret this dream on so many levels, but I know what it means for me.
Ahhh feels to good to write about it !
Now I’m off now to listen to the “Prince of Darkness” as he is often referred as.
In my brain Nick Cave is so filled with light and raw honesty that it is fucking blinding.
But shhh don’t tell anyone, The world needs light masquerading as the dark.
Hail and welcome 2017
So how has the new year treated you thus far?
It’s been a bit of a mixed bag hasn’t it?
I started out with a bang, saw the amazing Nick cave and Bad seeds
Celebrated the Chinese new year in the city and found my badass self with the Transformers (Bumble bee & Optimus prime) Ya know saving the universe and shit :)
I think I peaked too early
2016 lessons were lingering and I needed to follow that shadow down the rabbit hole
Sometimes when your floundering around looking for answers to life’s problems/questions
It can hit you in unexpected ways.
I put it out to the universe many years ago to let me see, to always find the hidden, and I forgot.
To always see the divine, to see the joy in life and I forgot
To honor the freedom that’s my birthright and I forgot
To see the love and the connections and I forgot
To remember my past, present and future and I forgot
To unbind the fears and shackles of the past and live in the moment and I forgot
To always find it within and I forgot
Through the joy of that epic day mentioned above, the remembering came flooding back.
Restless, pissed off and uninspired
I grabbed the bull by the horns and rode that motherfucker into the darkness
It’s always where I find the light, always
We all have treasures hidden in our darkness
My darkness propels me forward to the light
I relinquished my control in the darkness
I hear my voice calling me and all my gifts
The good, the bad and ugly
To anyone feeling the same
Hear your voice in the dark
"When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow".
— Ursula K. Le Guin
As we enter 2017 and leave the 2016 behind , thoughts of whata shit year come to mind for many people
2016 was a completion year, in numerology it was a 9 year. 2017 is a 1 year , a new beginning year , so to speak.
The theory is what you have learnt over the past 9 year cycle , you can now put into practice.
So ? What have you learnt?
As I reflect back, this energy for me personally, has been around since 2011 niggling and preparing for the 9 year.
Everything I have learnt and still am learning was exposed in 2016. Nowhere to hide anymore. Shit was reflected back at a defcon 10 level
Some of my most epic moments I have 2016 to thank for.
Whilst I was amongst it, it was hard, at times kicking and screaming like a banshee but in the process of going deep, 2016 allowed me that.
Massive clearing and unfucking moments.
I’m still not clear what the next step is in my journey, but I have a better idea: no regrets
The uncertainty has dissolved and am open to whatever may come as a gift of the number 1.
I reckon we have all put in the hard yards and cosmically the power of 1 is already working
So 2016 fuck you/ thankyou very much from the bottom of my gracious and humble heart for the lessons you bestowed on me.
Hail and welcome 2017
Changing woman is a revered Navajo goddess
According to legend, Changing Woman changes continuously but never dies.
She grows into an old woman in winter, but by spring, she becomes a young woman again.
In this way, she represents the power of life, fertility, and changing seasons.
I know I'm always changing.
Looking back sometimes I'm mortified at old beliefs or things written/spoken.
I can wake up feeling old and by the afternoon I'm a kid again; constantly changing.
My husband calls me Chaos ,not many people can handle my changes.
Bless him :)
The theme of change is constant around a lot of us, do we fight the changes or do we accept it ?
Do we even notice them?
Think of times of change: fucking hardcore
Change is scary
Change is hard
But once it's blazed away the shit... you’re changed for better or worse
Change comes in many forms and the universe is a constant teacher.
I guess we are being called to pay attention to our hearts and where our change leads us.
Is it where you need to be?
Mostly I welcome the change , other times ya gotta drag me kicking and screaming.
Yep denial is a old, safe love of mine. It's safe because I don't have to change.
I can't face the mirror that's being held up for me to look.
I get around to it...eventually
I usually find that once I've looked, inherently I'm the same inside , but changed or in the process of changing.
Changing woman has been around a while for me and she often appears when I feel stagnant.
The changes are occurring but slowly, probably giving me time to catch my breath rather than hold it which I have a tendency to do.
The road is clearing but still many changes need to occur.
But I guess that’s life isn't it ?
Dreaming : We all do it, some of us remember it all and some don't.
My dreams come and go ( the remembering side)and when I need a cosmic ass kicking..that's when they get full on.
You can google the dream meanings and most of the time it doesn't make sense ( well to me anyhow).
So over the years I have learnt to trust my own journey in and of the dream. The theory is, it's our higher consciousness talking to us and we get to work shit out when we dream.
I can still remember dreams that have had a massive impact on me in my waking life. These ones I know they were messages/teachings/learnings from the universe.
Then I get the knowing dreams, like the one I had last night and it always seems to be around animals.
A member of the Parrot family visited me last night, he died and was showing me how he wanted his body honoured.
It was beautiful dream , no sadness just a honouring of body and spirit.
He reminded me of the great Thunderbird or Phoenix. The great Death/Rebirth cycle.
The way that we can use the medicine and honour it at the same time.
He showed me how to pin his wings as if in full flight to represent LIFE
There was fire pit and singing. I was with a couple my sisters who I consider to be "bird Girls".
I don't actually know what type of parrot he was, I think he was a Macaw?
Whether or not he comes to me in real life, remains to be seen.
However I thank his spirit.
So in paying attention to dreams, they always reveal the meaning , maybe not straight away, but eventually
It's supposed to be spring in the great southern land :)
We have had wild weather, particularly in Melbourne : Torrential rain/Floods/wild winds and still quite cool for this time of year .
It's like winter is refusing to let go?
Today it's going to be lovely, however I sorta feel the sluggishness of spring waiting ?
I think she's still in hermit mode, just starting to peak a toe out of the cave.
Like most: the cycles affect me in the body. I can't be "bothered" !! It's like yeahh...next week I'll get to it.
Normally I'm bouncing off the walls with magical energy that spring brings.
Just started to feel a little of the energy return today :) Yay!
We are counting down to Beltane in the southern hemisphere
Beltane is a season of fertility, fire & renewal and we often find this reflected in the magic of the season. Spring magic, from ritual sex to fertility magic, along with the magic found in gardens and nature.
Northern Hemisphere Date: May 1st
Also known as Bealtaine, Walpurgisnacht, May Day, (Northern Hemisphere) & Novey Eve (in Southern Hemisphere).Beltane, the beginning of the summer months is at the November cross-quarter. This is the festival of the Great Rite - of sexual union between Goddess and God. Beltane is the spring fertility festival and there is feasting and celebration - a great festival for lovers! Beltane is the most popular time for Witches to be hand fasted. This is the time when the brilliant red flowers of the Flame Trees highlight Australian forests and gardens. Our famous horse race, the Melbourne Cup, is happily coincident with southern Beltane, being run on the first Tuesday in November and taken as an unofficial holiday across Australia.
Love beltane, because it brings back the sun ,fire and warmth after the long winter when we are still, it's time to be back in nature and align with earth after hibernation.
My body is slowly coming back and I find myself longing to lay in warmth of the rays and watch as the flowers bud.
It's been a long time coming.
Hail and welcome spring :)
I remember a time, when I was searching daily
For that place where I belong
For that place where I fit in
I thought I finally found it within the “New Age’
You see I sucked as a catholic. Always in trouble and the dogma didn’t make any sense to me whatsoever.
I remember it clearly when I found the divine feminine in a patriarchal religion
I got into so much trouble one day, for what I can’t even remember?
So being a kid I went to the place where we were not allowed, out the back near the incinerator.
It always dumbfounded me that no one was allowed there …because there was a statue of Mother Mary holding the Christ child.
I was alone and held her hand and talked to her…railing against the bullshit of catholic “rules”
I told her I didn’t understand
I told her I didn’t believe
I told her I hated the church
Whether it was just getting it all " out "so to speak or I really had a connection to a higher spirit, I don’t know but I felt so much peace at that moment and a knowing that everything about me was ok.
I wasn’t the devils spawn as the priests had told me.
My god wasn’t all fire and brimstone, like they wanted me to believe, he was love and from that day me and the almighty have been ok
I denounced religion that day, I was 13
FWD to later years…..still searching, enter the
Accepting, passive ,love and light…yeah I could do that ( so I thought).
The deeper I got into it, the bigger the cracks and me back to square one.
Where the fuck do I fit?
Again the dogma and the rules, or guidelines
So I went from hell and into the light
And I still sucked as a New ager
I was still the outcast and the perceived dark motherfucker
I remember asking a Reiki Master about the negative or shadow
She physically recoiled from me, and denied it
"Don’t bring it" in was her frantic response
I cast a shadow the day apparently and other lover and lighters stayed away from me.
I went outside and sat my ass on some grass and smiled
I was righteous in my own knowing and I knew I could never fit in there either.
It was another religion
Masters and slaves
Filled with dogma, rules and regulations
Mind control to take you away from your own sovereignty
I found no truth here, no belonging, just like the Catholics preaching but with a different face
They wanted you to forget your own innate power within the natural law.
We are not separate from the natural law, we are a part of it
To me, all forms of religion are control
Even the pagan or earth based practices ~ which I would say, I closely align to
I have stopped trying to fit in
I am a free spirit, a rebel and non conformist
Authoritarians love me …not
They do their best to make me conform from corporations like the police & governments to my in -laws that are born again Christians, who can’t handle the fact that I don’t subscribe to their notions.
I couldn’t give a rats what they believe, if their happy ( in religion) I ain’t the one to question them and I never have.
But that doesn’t stop them questioning everything I stand for. They want me to be something I’m not and could never be.
They are control and I am chaos
Acceptance vs Resistance
If your happy with the way things are going in the general scheme of things ~ ok ~ Good!
But don’t judge other’s that don’t feel the same and don’t accept the current control.
The rebels, the misfits, the lawbreakers, the one’s that don’t conform, The ones that feel it in their core to resist and not accept .
It’s ok to, stand up for your beliefs whatever they may be.
I have been locked up, been before the courts, had the book thrown at me (literally) fined, harassed and assaulted by the law, protested and picketed for what I believe in.
Been threatened and intimidated by Corporations, taking pics of my house and vehicles
Did it worry me; No !!!
We have the power to say NO to what we do not accept or situations that insult our soul and knowing.
This is my truth
Hence the unfucking stage commenced to unfuck myself from all dogma and rules
(still a work in progress)
I’m questing now, not searching: A quest to for balance : To balance the religion brainwashing (patriarchal) and New age brainwashing (Feminine)
To balance my masculine and feminine
To balance my left and right hemispheres of the brain
To honour and incorporate both in my daily practices. That’s my goal
To stand up for those that can’t or need help including myself to honour my divine masculine, and be righteous in my divine anger/protection if needed from the father
To show compassion and nurturing for those that need it including myself to honour the divine feminine, and be righteous in my own divinity and universal wisdom from the mother
That’s my Nirvana , will I ever reach it ?
Have no idea, but I do know…I’m going to have a most excellent adventure in trying.